The inside is bigger than the outside

That's essentially the summer summed up in the words of C.S. Lewis. The inside, the meaning, is much bigger than the outside. The external signs of the summer have passed, 7+ weeks, a couple retreats, orientation, classes, sand volleyball, hellos and goodbyes, open bars, Backer visits, weekly Mass, adoration, morning and night prayer, The Office, "calm down", "you can take ALL of it", the hip walk, community nights, carpet golfing, the many Milwaukee slogans and sayings, Steak N Shake visits, making wraps in the dining hall, 3AM conversations, random songs, reconciliation, conversion and communion. But through all this--the stuff of living in community--I have come to further realize that the inside really is bigger than the outside.

This summer was especially meaningful to me as a Notre Dame graduate because it afforded me the opportunity to return to the heart of why I choose Notre Dame in the first place. You see, when you fill out the ND application, they have this section that says that if you have any last comments that you want the reviewers to read, send them in. So I did. I remember writing something like "I want to go to Notre Dame to discern my vocation." This summer has truly connected me to this on a personal level. I've realized the many ways that I fail at preparing for my vocation of marriage with the love of my life. They are numerous and I won't bore you with the details. But it was within this community that I found a rekindling of my marriage vocation. Perhaps rekindling isn't the best word. I'll say intensifying instead. Your love and concern for each other, for me, intensifies my call to marriage. It was a blessing as well to see the start of a couple of relationships, which re-presented to me my calling and reminded me of my own story with Dezzie.

I've mentioned this to several of you, but it's worth repeating. What I find amazing is how the universal call to holiness can be lived out in so many different ways among our group, but yet, so similar. But it's this diverse response to the same call which exemplifies the whole cloud of witness thing.

The meaning of the summer is much bigger than the events added together. The inside of time is bigger than the outside, the moment was pregnant. A teacher of mine would say that there are some moments that mean more than others. Example: Getting engaged vs. brushing your teeth. The inside of that moment for me is much bigger than the outside, but the inside of brushing my teeth is sadly the same as the outside. Then there's the whole Jesus in the tabernacle thing, or in Mary's womb. That's pretty huge too.

So thank you folks for bringing me further up and further in. I hope to continue to seek out these joyful moments of interior largness and invite you to do the same.