In reflecting on this reality, it's daunting and joyous. Daunting in that we have to wonder WTH we are going to do next year-let alone our lives. That thought alone put me in a funk for weeks and paralyzed me into complete self-doubt. Some people can sit well with uncertainty during transitions. Others cannot. I apparently was in the latter category. It was terrible to now know what I was going to do and it was like standing on a precipice with seemingly no direction to go towards. The best analogy I could give was college application time-all these choices but in reality only one. As I was getting ready to wean myself off of a formal connection to the University I love, I found that I was not ready at all.
But it's also joyous for it's a chance to celebrate but also to go out with a bang. After weeks of grappling with it, I am finally there-thrusting my energies into finishing this year strongly and joyfully no matter what the future may hold. I don't think I ever shook as many hands and took as many pictures as I did yesterday. The only thing missing from it being a political campaign was kissing babies. Several people said that I deserved a raise (I told my pastor that I want to enter a new tax bracket) and asked how I don't have a big ego with how much the kids love me (Jonathan Lewis' Asian jokes and Anna Waechter's humility help with that). The chances to be a role model and more importantly, a "celebrity" are abundant. The Lenten series on learning about other faiths that I thought of and organized has been drawing 30-40 people each event when my mentor thought that 5-10 for each one would be a success. I've been laying the groundwork for a couple articles that I hope to finish by May 28. There are more parties and free dinners to attend. It's been a blessing.
So as I reflect on how it may seem like these last few months are the beginning of the end...it may in reality be more of the end of the beginning.